高考英语满分作文及名师点评:换手机
【湖北卷】
【试题】假设你是卜曼宜,你购买了一部某外国公司生产的手机,因有质量问题,要求该公司更换。请根据下列要点,用英文写一封电子邮件。
要点:1. 问题:手机不响铃,不能发短信;该产品已售完,无法更换;型号新,无配件,无法维修。2. 要求:公司应尽快予以更换。
注意:1. 词数为100左右;
2. 参考词汇:配件—— spare part;
3. 电子邮件的开头和结尾已为你写好(不计入你所写词数);
4.已给出的电子邮件的开头和结尾不得抄入答题卡。
Dear Sir,
I am writing to you for the mobile phone of Dephone-S250 I bought on 20th Apr.2008 at Tele Mall in Wuhan, P.R. China. Ten days after that, it didn’t ring and send short messages. Then I took it to the seller, but was told that the model had been sold out and I had to wait at least three months for a new one. I had no choice but to go to the repairman. To my disappointment ,he said since it was a new model in China, it was impossible to fix it without the right spare parts. I was so desperate on hearing that for I can not wait that long. Therefore, I have to require that you send me a new one of the same model within a month.
Thank you for your consideration.
Sincerely yours,
Bu Manyi
【名师点评】
本文内容要点齐全,语言丰富,结构合理,如头两句说明了购买手机后发现故障的情况,中间部分说明了无法维修而必须让公司更换手机的原委,最后明确提出自己的要求,明白流畅,将题目所提出的要点全部表达清楚,较好的完成了任务。全文以一般过去时为基调,结合主动语态与被动语态,并使用了so, but, therefore 等连接词,使文章结构完整严密。固定短语,如be sold out ,at least, had no choice but to go, to my disappointment, on hearing that 等的使用,使文章的语言显得地道而精炼。
积累卡片英汉互译
好词1. disappointment n.失望 2.desperate adj.绝望的 3. consideration n.体谅
好句To my disappointment ,he said since it was a new model in China, it was impossible to fix it without the right spare parts.
令我失望的是,他说因为在中国是新款手机,所以没有配件来修理。
评析:复杂句的组织; to my disappointment, 常用短语。